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Cap'n! Is the RV Open?

Aug 16, 2011 02:10AM ● Published by Anonymous

This Saturday and Sunday, Rock Hall held its 4th Annual Pirates and Wenches Fantasy Weekend.

As I got closer to the town, pirate decorations started popping up along the roadside. Boats pulled a'shore with the Jolly Roger draped over their bows, pirate scarecrows, mini-canons--people had 'em all.

Soon, I pulled into Rock Hall proper. There, a bunch of pirate dummies greeted me. The lady pirate clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels with her men’s work glove hand was my favorite. I’ve just never seen a mannequin used that way.

As I parked, I noticed a handful of picaroons flying three sheets to the wind standing near the opposite curb. One kept launching himself in front of oncoming traffic, attempting to plunder passing pickups. Despite his furious foam sword waving, though, none would let him a'board. The scuvy dogs!

Being a bit lily-livered, I hoped to avoid a skirmish. I headed into town.

In the park area by Rock Hall’s main intersection, ship’s cooks had set up their stands. Wafts of funnel cake and fried calzones made their way in my nostrils.

Stalls lined the sides of Main Street. Some boasted themed key chains and dog collars. Others sold pirate hats and denim purses.

Behind the Mainstay, vendors had set up in Oyster Court. There, they hawked their wares of pipe tobacco and cigars, authentic pirate costumes, and fine accoutrement for the 18th century reenactor. What more could a gentleman or lady o’fortune want?

Content that I’d seen my fill, and full to the gills with Durding's ice cream, I started to make my way back to the car.

As I headed down Main Street, though, a wench with a strange gleam in her eye passed by.

“Pirate show in ten minutes!” she yelled. “Pirate show at Oyster Court!”

A landlubber on the sidewalk next to me asked what she’d do if we didn’t go. She drew and brandished her sword. I deemed it best to attend.

Back in Oyster Court, Valhallas Pirates had set up in front of a collection of little lads and lasses. They seemed to enjoy Captain Jack Sparrow the most. Behind them, a buccaneer lay asleep on the ground. One of his compatriots flicked his whip at him menacingly.

All of a sudden, the storm that had been a’brewin’ let loose its power. The pirates who’d advertised the pirate show scuttled by me.

“Cap’n!” she shouted, “Is the RV open!?”

I didn’t stick around to hear the response. Instead, I headed for the safety of my car.

Interested in checking out Pirates and Wenches Weekend next year? Keep your eyes on the horizon. I’ll be updating the calendaaargh.



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