Fad Diets Debunked
Dec 27, 2012 09:58PM
● By Anonymous
But if anything can speak for itself, it’s our closets. We’re still packing on the pounds like Mayan calendars are still selling. And buying our skinny jeans in a definitely non-skinny size is okay because 2013 is right around the corner! Just a few more days of hot chocolate and sticky buns before we’re committing to that juice cleanse, that vegan diet, that high protein diet. It’s all going to disappear before MLK Day, just wait and see.
We at What’s Up? decided to go ahead and de-bunk all of the current fad diets out there so that you know what you’re up against before you clean out your fridge.
The Dukan Diet: Praised by Her Royal Duchess-ness Kate Middleton as the perfect way to get tiny for the wedding, the Dukan Diet promises weight loss by having you eat load after load of protein coupled with a high fiber oat bran “pancake.” There is no sugar, alcohol, grain, or fun on this meat fest that is certainly not for the high cholesterol of heart. However, by following the diet for a month, you can reasonably expect to lose a few pounds at least in water weight.
The Atkins Diet: This is the diet you were on in the late 1990s. It didn’t work then, either. Just try eating less and exercising more.
The Special K Plan: For two weeks, you replace two of your regular meals with two Special K products, be it cereal, a protein shake, or a meal bar. You satisfy your sweet tooth with Special K snack-y type foods. You get to choose one meal a day to stray from the Plan, and you can add in fruits and veggies as you choose. The promise is that you can lose up to 6lbs in two weeks. We wonder if after eating only cereal for two weeks, you might also lose your will to live.
The 17-Day Diet is a huge misnomer. It should be called “The 51-Day Diet with a Fourth Long-Term Maintenance Cycle that Lasts the Rest of Your Life.” You will lose a decent amount of weight immediately, but again, it’s mostly water weight you’ve been dragging around with you. Unless you’re ready to change the way you eat for good (read: ready to ditch fried foods forever), anticipate having those saddle bags back on your hips by Valentine’s Day (hello, Russell Stover Chocolates!).
The Cabbage Soup Diet works because cabbage is high in fiber and gets your digestion system working overtime. It’s only a seven-day diet, which we love because you can be on it, lose the weight, and get off it quickly. However, this is not a diet you should go on if you have an amorous relationship in your life. This is a diet you should go on if you can appreciate IBS and celibacy. Again, it’s only one week, but it’s a week in which you will watch a lot of Golden Girls episodes. Alone. In your bathrobe.
The Juice Cleanse: Hailed by pin thin models and actresses as the way to get thin in time for casting calls, juice cleanses work because you’re again eating high fibrous foods that call for very little metabolic work. So you’re able to put food in and get food out, essentially. But the cons again outweigh the pros here. Although you now associate yourself as a fruitavore, be prepared to feel downright lusty over a piece of wheat bread after two days on the fruit cleanse.
The Real Housewife Diet: For fans of reality television, there’s the Real Housewife Diet. An easy diet for anyone with a family to tend to, this diet allows you to eat whatever your family eats, along with limitless amounts of Pinot Grigio. The only catch: whenever you sit down to a meal, simply bring up a long standing issue with a family member or friend. Really go for the jugular to pair your daily cardio with your mealtime drama. The diet works in that the endorphins you get while arguing keep you from reaching for your fork, unless it’s to stab a shady brother-in-law. Afterward, sneak a few Parliament Lights off camera and pass out in the pool house. The next morning’s hangover will ensure you aren’t hungry until at least noon, when you can get right back to your diet.
Maybe instead of jumping into a fad diet, what you really need is a good cooking class to show you how to lighten up your caloric load. Check out our list of references for the best culinary how-to around town. Learn how to cook fresh, local produce to keep your waistline slim and your tummy happy.
And besides, fad diets are so 2012.
Whole Foods Annapolis Seriously, just walking through Whole Foods is sometimes better than therapy. Check out their cooking demonstrations and classes to get the most out of your experience.
Wegmans Crofton The new store promises live cooking demonstrations and events as well as all the tools you need to live healthfully in 2013.
Kerri Out Food in Annapolis shows you how to cook and entertain like a caterer. So while you’re learning how to feed yourself properly, you can also do it in style. We love that.
A Cook’s Café in Annapolis Owner Craig Sewell is an exceptional chef as well as a marathoner and triathlete. We obviously have much to learn from him. Head into A Cook’s Café for a delightful meal or one of their equally satisfying cooking classes.
The Robert Morris Inn in Oxford Taking cooking classes in a 300-year old inn on the Shore is certainly a treat. Stay for the weekend to really soak up the experience.