What's Up Magazines

It only took three months or so, but I finally ordered my save-the-dates. What took so long, you might ask?

Well, I decided I just had to design them myself. While I'm not currently designing professionally, I do have a bit of a background in graphic design. So, naturally, I just couldn't order save-the-dates from a website; I had to painstakingly design not one, but FIVE options for our save-the-dates. Then, once I had finally settled on a design, I had to* try it out in different sizes, then in different colors, then I had to choose how and where I'm getting it printed.

Needless to say, it was not the most efficient process.

The thing is, my fiance and I aren't sending traditional save-the-dates. Our invitations will be very traditional, but we wanted to get the "fun" tone of our wedding out to our guests with this. So we toyed with ideas, such as a relationship timeline:



Or a concert poster*:



* I did not come up with the concept for this poster; I shamefully copied it from a much more talented designer, the image found here.

We considered a "by the numbers" save the date, which pays homage to a design/editorial technique I used frequently when I worked at the newspaper:



We also considered a tribute to David's love of movies by creating a movie poster:



For some reason or another, we nixed these almost-fully-designed ideas. There were also a bunch of half-designed ideas that didn't even make it to the end of the process.

I'm not going to post the design we chose here just because I want it to be a surprise for our guests. I'll come back in a month or so and let you know what it looks like. However, I can say that it definitely incorporates David and I's personalities/interests into the design.

I have a few tips for people who want to design their own invitations or save-the-dates.

1. Choose how/where you're going to print the invitations first. I waited until after I designed the invitations, then started browsing printing websites. When I decided on Zazzle.com, I had to redesign them to fit in the size they offered.

2. Use a program you're comfortable with. I used Photoshop to design all these because I know it well. A more advanced designer probably would have used Illustrator; however, I would have gone insane with trying to learn a new program and perfect my save-the-dates at the same time. Less advanced designers use Paint or Microsoft Word with no problem.

3. Sketch out a concept first. Paper and pens are still useful for something.

4. Browse etsy.com or Google images for inspiration. Our final save-the-date design ended up being entirely my own creation, but there's no shame in borrowing elements of other designers' work. Just don't go off and start selling your invitations.

5. Give yourself extra time. I first planned to have my save-the-dates done while I had a week off in between jobs in the middle of July. Didn't happen. Then I was going to have them done by the end of August (in the mail). Clearly, that didn't happen because it's the last day of August. Now, my goal is to have them mailed out by the end of September. This process takes much longer than you think it does!


*When I say "had to," I really mean that I chose to do this because I'm overly obsessive and ridiculous.

Brides no longer have to wear plain white or ivory satin shoes with their wedding dresses—there are so many great, fun options out there these days that glam up your wedding day ensemble. Check out these two pictures from Annapolis photographer Vivian Smith at Sapphire Studios:

How cool are these?

Sapphire Studio

On my wedding day, I want to wear something a little sassy—my dress has a dark red sash, and my bridesmaids will be wearing burgundy. After seeing a friend rock some hot pink high heels on her wedding day, I wanted to wear some awesome dark red heels. However, I am a picky, picky shoe-buyer. So now I need you all to help me select which shoes I should purchase. I have about five or six pairs I'm currently looking at. Price, heel height and comfort are all factors here. My fiance is 6'6", so I'm not really concerned about being taller than him, but I am concerned about falling flat on my face while teetering down the aisle in 4.5-inch heels.

So what do you think?


Shoes by: Collen Sandal


Shoes by: Dolce



Shoes by: Maison


Shoes by: Nina


Shoes by: Natural Wonder

If I were really sassy, I'd go with these bad boys:



Shoes by: Nine West

However ... I don't think I'm that sassy.

What are your thoughts? Do you have any other recommendations?

A lot of wedding websites spend a lot of time focusing on whether you should choose a DJ or a band for your wedding. For us, it was a pretty easy decision. We toyed with the idea of a cover band, but decided that not only was a DJ more in line with our budget, but they'd be able to play more variety. For those who aren't familiar with the pros and cons of a DJ versus a band, let's do a quick rundown.



- Band
    - Creates a great atmosphere

- DJ
    - Can often play more variety
    - Typically more affordable
    - Doesn't take the same number of breaks as a band
    - Doesn't take up as much space as a band

On paper, it looks like a DJ would win every time. However, sometimes there's no substitute for live music, which is why some couples still go with a band. I've been to nine weddings in the past 2 years -- that's one every two and a half months! -- but I've only seen one live band. Honestly, this wedding was so lavish that I didn't really even take note of the fact there was a band there because there was so much other stuff to revel in.

The point of all this is that we chose a DJ. In order to find the right DJ for us, we asked the coordinator of our venue for recommendations. This is a great way to get the names of the people who are familiar with the venue who you can be almost sure will do a good job. (You have to feel out this vendor recommendation, though. For some unscrupulous venues, the coordinator or venue might be getting a kickback for recommending these vendors. I didn't get that feeling from our venue or the people we met with, though.)

We met with two of the recommended DJs. After meeting with the first DJ, I pretty much knew he was the guy for us. I had a big ol' smile on my face during the entire meeting, and he seemed to be entirely on board with what we wanted. (Standard stuff, with emphasis on the songs you would hear a good cover band at a bar do ... "Sweet Caroline," "Don't Stop Believing," some Billy Joel, plus JUST a bit of some newer stuff from bands like the Black Eyed Peas to get some people dancing.) He also got really excited when we told him what song we wanted to be introduced to - "You May Be Right," by Billy Joel - which just confirmed my belief that he was the right DJ.

However, we still had a second DJ to meet with. This guy was good, too. If we had to have him at our wedding, it probably would have turned out great. But I just didn't get that feeling with him - the feeling that this was RIGHT for our wedding. I really can't pick out what was wrong with him, other than he seemed to want to play a lot of games during our wedding reception. I'm not really up for that.

As with so many other things, I went with my gut and we hired DJ #1. I've gone with my gut for a few other wedding items - the venue being the most notable. Here's hoping my intuition knows what it's doing!

They weren't kidding when they said there was an app for everything. The other day, BRIDES magazine released its "Wedding Genius" app. Because I do not have a iPhone or iPad and my iPod Touch is, well, on the fritz, I'm trying to figure out if this thing would be helpful to brides. Has anyone tried it?

According to the description from the iTunes app store, this application allows you to do a few things for free:

- Browse both wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses by silhouette, brand and price.
- Browse his and her jewelry galleries by ring type, style, material, and price.
- Tap the look to flip through the photos, zoom in and out for a closer view.
- Tap “Find It” to locate a store within 50 miles, (US only), or visit the website page.
- Explore travel destinations for your honeymoon or destination wedding.

However, for $2.99, the app unlocks a digital wedding binder, which can store your wedding information and inspiration all in one place. This would be awfully handy for someone like me who has inspiration pictures in my home computer, in my email, in Google Docs and some right here on the blog. I manage to make it work though - my head can manage crazy things like that (sometimes).

For the upgraded price, you can also get tips and advice, manage your to-do list, send automatic reminders to yourself (That would be helpful!) and do some other things that I didn't find nearly as interesting.

The app store says it's compatible with the iPod Touch; however, it seems like you'd really need the iPhone for a few of these things. Sad for Verizon/BlackBerry users like me.

Is this something you would use or have already started using for wedding planning?

 Photo by Holly Blood

In some ways, engagement photos are just one example of how weddings have changed over the past few decades. This wasn't really something that was done back in the day, but I have to say, I'm a big fan of engagement photos. Especially when they show the personality of the bride and groom, which I really hope (and think) our photos do. It's a great way to remember that exciting time right after you got engaged and the anticipation and happiness that goes along with it. Plus, photography has come so far in even the past decade, both in technology and in style that it is easier than ever to have a fun, artistic engagement session that you'd be happy to display for years to come.



We took our engagement photos at the Wicomico Public Library in downtown Salisbury on the Eastern Shore. I thought this was a great place for us to take pictures because:

1. Both of us love to read and books have been a big part of our life,
2. The library is just down the street from our first apartment together, and we have walked over there together a lot, and
3. I saw a lot of really awesome library shots while Googling.

We also took some shots on the plaza right outside our apartment in downtown Salisbury.



Our engagement session almost didn't happen. Right before we started, it was pouring outside. Luckily, my photographer and I agreed to take the gamble that it woud stop, and because of that, we got the awesome reflection photo above. 

The downside is that it was one of the hottest, muggiest days in June, and it shows in some of our photos. In some of the initial photos, my fiance's hair is a little damp from sweat (poor guy was wearing long sleeves and long pants). In the final photos that were taken outside, my hair -- which has a mind of its own, even if I style it -- was frizzy as all get out.



Looking back on our session - even though I love, love, love our photos -- I kind of wish I had prepared more. So that's my advice you to you for the engagement photos. Our session was on a Monday night after work after a busy weekend. I didn't have much time to do my hair (or get it done professionally), I had chosen my clothes the day before (procrastinate much?) and I hadn't really thought about if there were any particular shots I wanted (except for that one up top of us between the bookshelves). Luckily, I had a great photographer who had thought about shots on her own.

For a giggle, check out this link: Awesomely bad engagement photos

Have you taken your engagement photos? What do you wish you could change? Will you prepare in advance?

 

If you're just getting started on your planning, now is the time to check out bridal expos. There's a weath of vendors with plenty of ideas to get you thinking about what you want for your wedding. I only attended one bridal show, so far -- the Ocean City expo held in April -- but it was definitely a good time. Plus, there's plenty of cake to try!

This weekend, there are two expos: Saturday  is the first Columbia Bridal Expo at the Hiton Garden Inn in Columbia, Md., from noon-4 p.m. Tickets for the event are $5 and can be purchased in advance here. The event is co-sponsored by the Maryland Wedding Professionals Association, so there will likely be a number of high-quality vendors available.

Even bigger is the Elegance in Bridal and Home Expo that begins at 1 p.m. Sunday at the Verizon Center in D.C. Tickets are $15 in advance and $25 at the door, so it's a litte more costly than the Columbia show. It seems, though, like they have plenty to make it worth the price. First of all, there's several chances to win big prizes, get free goodies, takes tons of cakes and confections and a fashion show full of the latest fashion trends.

Have fun planning!

A long, long time ago, when I first started pondering what my wedding might look like, I latched onto the idea of using damask as a central theme. For those of you who don't know, damask is a pattern that looks like this (though the pattern can vary):

A while after I made this decision, something happened in the wedding world: Damask became really, really trendy. In other words, the bandwagon jumped on my wedding decor. I'm not really one for being trendy, so when I finally got engaged, I decided I wasn't going to use damask. After all, I didn't want my wedding to be lumped in with all those other weddings.

Then, I realized that I just wasn't excited with the wedding colors I had chosen (burgundy, black and champagne) without the element of black and white damask. As I drooled over pictures of damask wedding elements on various websites, I got over myself. Who cared if the main decorative element in my wedding is "trendy?" I know that I decided on it long before I saw it pop up wedding websites, and that's all that really matters.

Moral of the story? Don't get too hung up on trends. If you like a trend, don't ignore it just because it's a trend. If you don't like a trend, don't feel obligated to us it just because it's popular. Make your wedding the one you'll be happy with it.

So what types of damask items am I looking at? Here are a samples of a few products that might show up at my wedding (Click on the link below the picture if you're interested in purchasing one, too):

Damask cupcake stand. Mine would be lined with burgundy ribbon.

'I Do' letters for either the cake table or the gift table

Wine table numbers. Love 'em.




Burgundy and damask card box



Satin damask runner for the guests' tables

Right up front, I can tell you that the wedding dress I chose is not in this post. I'm not entirely sure if the dress I chose will ever appear on this blog, just because I have a snoopy fiance and I don't want him to see the dress.

These dresses are the ones that *could* have been "the one," but for some reason or another got knocked out by another dress. Let's go through them, shall we?

David's Bridal: This dress has a really beautiful train. This was the close #2 to the dress that I eventually chose, and I actually can't look at it too much for fear of having dress regret.

  

Maggie Sottero: I'm not sure why I kicked this one out of the running, actually. Looking at this picture, I feel like it's really flattering. But it was one of the first dresses I tried on, and I guess it just didn't give me that special feeling.



Paloma Blanca: Love it, love it, love it. $1,000 over my budget. It went out the window.



I can't remember the designer (and my future mother-in-low chopped my head out of the photo by accident). I tried this dress on the same day as I tried on the one I eventually bought. I loved its full skirt. My friend, though, showed me how it gives my stomach a bump that's not actually there. So ... out it goes.

This is only a sampling of the dresses I tried on, but they were hard to narrow down. What were some reasons you decided not to wear a particular wedding dress?

Despite my passion and obsesssive knowledge of weddings, my expertise falls short in one very important area: Getting married in the Chesapeake region. Because I'm not getting married here, I haven't experienced the ins and outs of planning a wedding in Maryland.

However, there are plenty of brides out there who are getting married here, and luckily for us, some are willing to share their story with us. Our first bride, Tiffany Townsend, is getting married in two short weeks (yikes!), but she took a moment out of her busy bride-to-be schedule to answer some questions for me.

Name: Tiffany Townsend

Fiancé’s name: Tucker Smith

Engagement date: February 14, 2009

Wedding date: August 21, 2010

Wedding venue: Ceremony – United States Naval Academy Chapel; Reception – Annapolis Yacht Club

Proposal story: We were in our senior year at Oregon State University in Corvallis, Oregon, and we had plans for dinner at a nice restaurant downtown. Downtown Corvallis is along the Willamette River, so we took a walk along the river after dinner, and as we were headed back to the car, Tucker just got down on one knee and pulled a box out of his pocket. Before he opened it he jokingly asked, “Weren’t you expecting this?” (We had been dating for about five years at that point).

Then, of course, he asked if I would marry him, to which I said “no”…which was obviously the answer to his first question. After we both laughed at my first answer, I said “yes!”

How did you choose your venue?
The Naval Academy Chapel is where Tucker attended in high school while his dad was stationed at the Naval Academy, so when we moved back to Annapolis after college it was the logical choice. As for the reception, we are so lucky that my parents are members at the Annapolis Yacht Club. Because it is one of the best waterfront venues in Annapolis, that was a pretty easy decision.

What types of food are you serving at the reception?
We covered the bases pretty well with a little of everything. We couldn’t go without crabcrakes, so those will definitely be there; we also have vegetarian, chicken and beef entrees. We aren’t doing a sit-down dinner, so there will be food stations throughout the venue, and our guests will have the choice of any and all of our options!

What are your wedding colors, and how did you choose them?
Bright orange with royal blue accents are our wedding colors. Orange was the school color at our alma mater, Oregon State University, and in my time there, I grew to love orange! Plus, Tucker’s a big Orioles fan, so we both were in for the orange. As far as the blue goes, I knew EVERYTHING couldn’t be orange, so I just picked something that would compliment the orange well.

How many people are in your bridal party? 15 total -- My best friend from high school will be the maid of honor, with two other friends from high school, one from college, one from childhood and the grooms’ sister making up the five other bridesmaids. The grooms’ best friend from high school will be his best man, with three friends from college, the grooms’ brother and the brides’ brother making up the five other groomsmen. We will also have one flower girl and two ring bearers who are all cousins of the groom.

What as the most fun part of planning your wedding? Definitely cake tasting! Our cake is from Palate Pleasers, and when we went for the tasting we had so many options to try, everything from the yellow cake to carrot cake! I also really enjoyed shopping for our wedding bands; although we both had a good idea of what we wanted, it was fun to try all the styles on.

What was the most difficult part of planning your wedding?
Hands down, researching vendors. Since I grew up in Annapolis, I used my previous knowledge for some things, such as a florist, but there are so many things that are specific to weddings that it’s hard to know where to look. Word-of-mouth recommendations were great, but you still had to resort to the Internet to get most of the information. Once we had our venues, we asked each coordinator for a list of their recommendations, which was very helpful!

What advice do you have for future brides?
It’s all about balance. Balance between having too many requests or not enough direction; balance between it being all about you and realizing it takes two people to get married; balance between keeping yourself happy and keeping yourself sane. And, most importantly, have fun!

Do you want to be a featured bride on "Here Comes the Bride?" E-mail weddings editor Kelsey Collins at kcollins@whatsupmag.com. 

 

Who is planning to watch the new incarnation of TLC's Say Yes to the Dress? I've set my DVR to record it, but I'm curious. I was watching some clips of the show on TLC.com until the show airs on Friday.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Say Yes to the Dress, it originated as a 30-minute reality show that takes place in Kleinfelds in New York City, a well-known bridal salon specializing in upscale wedding dresses. They have a staff of female consultants that work with two or three brides during the course of the half-hour, plus a fabulous male fashion consultant, Randy, who always seems to know exactly which dress the bride should wear. Here's a clip:

I've always loved the show, even though basically all of the dresses they show are way out of my budget. From what I've seen, even if someone did come in with a low budget, the consultants did their best to work with the bride and not belittle her.

However, the first clip I saw from the Atlanta show was titled "Champagne on a Beer Budget," and it left a bad taste in my mouth. The consultants at the Atlanta boutique, Bridals by Lori, were aghast that a bride only wanted to spend $1,500 on a dress -- so far as to tell her that she would not find what she wanted with that paltry budget.

I have no gripes with people who want to spend thousands of dollars on their wedding dress -- there was a gorgeous Paloma Blanca dress I wanted that cost $2,000. I decided, however, that it didn't make sense for me to spend $2k on a dress I would wear for an evening. I was lucky, though, that no bridal consultant I went to gave me grief when I told them what I wanted to spend. If they had, I proably would have turned around and walked out -- and this makes me hesitant to watch Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta.

What do you think? Will you watch the new show?

(My fiance scanning items at Crate & Barrel)

Creating a registry seems like it would be such a good time, doesn't it? I mean, it's basically window shopping, except you might actually get the items that you shopped for sometime in the future.

We got a jump on the registry process, not because we were desperate for gifts, but because we wanted to register at Crate & Barrel. At the time, we were living in Salisbury on the Eastern Shore, where there is no Crate & Barrel. So while we were visiting Arizona, we spent an afternoon at the home good store, scanning away.

We quickly found out that registering is much more stressful than we thought. I tend to think we should register for more lower-priced items, while he thought it was OK to add more expensive things. Our tastes mostly match up, but it doesn't always. Then, the biggest problem -- I'm not good at making decisions. This is definitely a decision-making process.

Luckily, we learned a little bit and had a much easier, more fun time when registering at Bed, Bath and Beyond a few days later. With this experience, I came away with a few helpful tips for you to think about:

• Do your research: Some places have really difficult return policies, and might not let you return wedding gifts without a receipt. For example, Target lets you return gifts with a gift receipt, but only for store credit. Now, I personally adore Target's merchandise, so that probably wouldn't be a problem for me, but it might be for someone else.
• Know your style before you go: If you don't currently have a home together, take a couple minutes to discuss what colors you might want in the house or apartment you'll live in after you get married. That way, you're not fighting over a lavender-colored comforter versus a nautical-themed duvet in the middle of Kohls' bedding section. If you can't compromise, agree to register for neutral items right now (such as ivory linens, white towels and stainless steel kitchen gadgets). You can always add or edit items later.
• Don't try to fit in too much: Stores have online registries for a reason. You probably won't get through an entire store in a couple of hours, and you'll miss out on a lot if you try to. Instead, just register for what you two can muster without getting too exhausted -- because you will get exhausted -- and continue to add and update items on the Internet.

Confession: After all of that, we later completely deleted our Crate & Barrel registry. We found we liked the items at Bed, Bath and Beyond just as much, and the prices were a whole lot better. We did keep a few items from Crate & Barrel on a separate registry from the website www.myregistery.com -- we'll talk more about that later.

 

Wedding dresses that show your ankles or even (gasp!) your knees are gaining popularity. I'm come across some rocking short dresses recently, such as:

David's Bridal



Alfred Angelo



Stephanie James Couture



Kleinfelds-Michelle Roth



Me? Well, I think I'm too timid (and maybe a bit too traditional?) to walk down the aisle with my legs on display. However, I would like to talk to some brides who plan to (or did wear!) a short dress. Leave me a message in the comment or email me at kcollins@whatsupmag.com, and you might appear in the Spring/Summer issue of What's Up? Weddings!

Disclaimer: All the dresses I'm about to show you are beautiful. I really thought I would love them. I fell in love with them on the model. However, I am not a model and these dresses look hideous on me.

About three weeks after I got engaged, I started dress shopping. I couldn't help it - I had been looking at dresses for months already, and it was finally time to try them on! I had oodles of pictures saved on my computer of dresses that could potentially be "the one." After spending time working in the wedding industry and generally knowing what would or wouldn't look good on me, I had a few qualifications in mind when I tried on dresses.

- No to mermaid or trumpet dresses. Those just wouldn't look good on me.

- No to pickups. A lot of my friends have had lovely pickups on their skirt (Google "pickup wedding dress" if you don't know what I mean), but I'm just not a fan.

- Yes to v-necks. I wanted to stray away from strapless because it's so common in bridal fashion these days, but I wasn't completely close-minded about it. Little did I know how much better I'd like how strapless looked on me.

- No to dropped waists. That just wouldn't be flattering on my figure.

- Yes to flowers and ribbons. These are my favorite types of embellishements.

- No to excessive beading. I'm just not a blingy person. For example, right now, the only jewelry I'm wearing is my engagement ring. I meant to put on a silver necklace in the car, but forgot about it.

So I had a good list of what I wanted and didn't want when I went in to my first appointment. I'd suggest making that same list so you don't get flustered when a bridal consultant asks what you're looking for. I had also printed out some examples of dresses I (thought) I loved so I could try them on.

So what was I looking for? Keep in mind, you're looking at dresses of models because I just couldn't bear the thought of putting the pictures of myself in these dresses on the Internet. You will, however, see later photos of my dress sessions when the results were a little more favorable.

(Alfred Angelo)

Gosh, these dress is beautiful. That flower is so pretty. However, that flower hit at the widest part of my waist. See, this is why you have to try stuff on - you just don't know until you do.

I loved this Alfred Angelo dress so much that I was nearly positive it would be "the one" ... until I put it on. Then I discovered that the way that middle section cut me made my torso look about three times shorter than it actually is.


(Da Vinci Bridal)

I actually fell in love with the Sophia Tolli version of this dress, but the store I went to only had the similar Da Vinci Bridal version of it in stock. I loved the unique design of the fabric criss-crossing across the front. However, that criss-crossing made for a really bulky dress and it almost felt like I was wearing padding on the front of me. Is this a hockey game or a wedding?

(David's Bridal)


For someone who wanted a V-neck dress, I actually didn't try too many on. I quickly found that strapless was much more flattering. This particuar dress made me look very top-heavy and matronly, as lovely as it is.

What was your experience in trying on dresses? Did you find the research you did before heading shopping worked out for you?

The perfect venue – for me – is the core of a wedding. It’s just barely more important than the food, which is my favorite part of a wedding. The venue says so much about your taste, style and the overall atmosphere of the event. Think about it – I’m pretty sure the last event you went to at a historic mansion was relatively formal. Likewise, a wedding in a state park likely didn’t call for black tie attire. Then there are the generic “event hall” weddings – not my style, but they can be transformed into whatever the bride and groom want. 

My fiancé and I looked at a mere five venues for our wedding. For some brides, that’s barely any. But we were pretty sure that we wanted to be married in a particular town, for convenience’s sake, plus we only had a week to decide. (We were on vacation about two weeks after we got engaged.)

I don’t think I would have had it any other way. I know people who have labored over visiting venues for weeks, even months. So while it’s an important decision, don’t be so picky about “perfection.” (It’s the same way with dresses, but that’s a discussion for another time.)

Anyway, we were looking for six things in a venue:

- Capacity: We needed a venue that could host at least 120 to 150 guests. We don’t actually anticipate that many people because it’s a destination wedding for so many. However, our guest list is 150 and if you’re going to take any of my advice, take this: Do not (Do not!) invite more people than your venue holds. Sure, they say about 20 percent of invitees decline, but do you really want to tempt fate? I’ve seen too many brides frantic that they invited 170, and 160 said yes – but their venue only holds 150. The fire marshal isn’t going to really care that The Knot said you should have only had to plan for 140. 

- Outdoor space: My fiancé didn’t ask for me, but he did ask that we get married outside. Therefore, I needed to find a space that had a ceremony site under the sun. Conveniently, Phoenix is one of the few places in the country where I really don’t have to worry about rain. (There I go jinxing myself again!)

- Separate cocktail hour area: I’m a big fan of cocktail hours in one place and the reception in another. I think it gives folks a chance to mingle and breaks up the event a little bit. I also preferred a cocktail hour area that was outdoors, but that wasn’t a deal-breaker.

- Price: As with most brides, I had to keep it within budget. Some places we saw were in budget, some were not.

- View: We wanted views of the mountains and cacti, not of houses or highways.

- The flow: We visited one country club that had a great outdoor space for the cocktail hour and a magnificent entryway that surely would dazzle our guests. However, the dance floor and DJ was all but separated from the guests’ tables. I’ve been to a wedding where the DJ was in the separate room – it didn’t work. People don’t dance if they can’t see anyone else dancing from their tables.

 

Luckily for us, our chosen venue fit every one of these points. Then again, we weren’t overly picky. If you’re looking for a rustic-chic barn with a working fireplace, you might be asking too much.

Without a doubt, the first thing people ask new brides-to-be is "When's the big day?" You can only answer "I don't know" so many times before you start to think, "maybe I should work on that whole date thing...."

David and I didn't have a particular date in mind. We just knew we didn't want an extremely long engagement period -- about a year was perfect. Because he proposed on April 17, it made sense that we were going to have a late spring, early summer wedding. When we made the decision to get married in Phoenix, that all but eliminated most of May, plus all of June, July and August. I can handle the heat, but I know our families, mostly traveling from Minnesota and Delaware, could not. Plus, who wants to see a bride with sweat stains?

Our date was selected when the venue we chose (We'll get into that whole process later) only had one Saturday left in April. Strangely enough it was April 30 -- the date that I, for no reason, picked in my mind as a top contender. That sealed the deal.

But for many brides, picking a date is more difficult than just pointing to a place on the calendar. Let's take a look at some things you should consider:

• What day of the week is it? Saturdays are particularly popular, just because it's the most convenient. However, brides sometimes opt for a Friday or Sunday wedding. This can be a less expensive alternative, and might work out for couples whose guests are mostly local. However, consider how difficult it will be for your Cousin Jimmy, who works until 5 p.m. in a town 4 hours away, to get to your wedding at 7 p.m. on a Friday. You have to think about what is convenient for your guests, too.
  
  
• Does the date have any significant meaning? Getting married on the anniversary of your grandparent's wedding or the day you two first met brings a special meaning to the date.
  
  
• Is it around a holiday? Choosing a date near a holiday can be good or bad. The Saturday of Memorial Day or Labor Day weekend gives you (and your guests) more time to celebrate because people typically don't head back until work until Tuesday. However, travel expenses can be higher at this time of the year, and accommodations in popular locations -- especially if you are getting married in Ocean City or a Delaware beach -- books up way in advance.
  
  Around other holidays, certain aspects might be more expensive. On New Year's Eve, DJs or bands will charge a premium for their talents. Around Valentine's Day, don't bother trying to use roses unless you're willing to pay a pretty penny. Near Mother's Day, all flowers will probably have an upcharge -- if your florist can even find the time to schedule you into their calendar.
  
  However, if you have a special attachment to the romance of Valentine's Day or long to honor your mother by getting married the day before Mother's Day, then don't let any of this concern you.
  
  
• What season do you like? Certain seasons lend themselves to different colors, foods, flowers and the overall feeling of the event. If you want to serve hot chocolate and peppermint sticks as part of dessert, then getting married in July doesn't make any sense. Don't get too hung up on the color aspect (says the bride who is having a burgundy-and-black wedding in late April), but do take the overall tone of the season into account when choosing a date.
  
  
• Can the important people attend? Make sure you don't schedule your wedding during your future mother-in-law's annual two-week vacation to Florida or when the best man has a work conference in New York City. Check with the following people:
  
  • The groom (Naturally!)
  • Your parents
  • His parents
  • The bridal party
  • Your siblings
  • Any near and dear friends who family whose attendance is vital to you.

With any luck, you'll be able to find at least one day that suits your needs!

Deciding to get married in Arizona wasn’t an easy decision. Anyone who lives cities or states away from their hometown knows the difficulty – While you have a connection to the area in which you grew up, and perhaps a parent tugging you in one direction; however, you also realize that the convenience and accessibility of a wedding where you live now is a strong selling point.  
 

Not to mention, Maryland has water. Arizona does not. Who can resist views of the Chesapeake Bay (or the ocean or any river that comes off either one of those)? Oh, trust me, there was a big part of me that wanted to be a Chesapeake bride. However, it just wasn’t meant to be – and that’s OK. Instead, I get to have these views at my wedding:

(Sunridge Canyon Golf Club, Fountain Hills, Arizona)

 

 

To tell you the truth, I kind of fell in love with this location as I was walking on the grass, looking at the same view that my fiance and I will see as we’re tying the knot.

 

The good new is that I checked the Farmers Almanac (You might want to do this, too!) for the weather on April 30 in Phoenix. It turns out it hasn’t rained on that date for at least 20 years. 
 

Oh dear, I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

 

If you are trying to figure out where you want to get married, consider the following things:

 

    - Which location is more cost-effective? (If that's a concern.) This was a wash in our case.

    - Which location is more convenient for you and the groom? Clearly, Maryland wins this category.

    - Which location is more convenient for your guests? (It's not always all about you!) This is 50/50 -- my whole family would have to travel east, while his whole family has to travel west.

    -Which locations offers more options for vendors, such as venues, musicians, photographers, etc.? Arizona was definitely the winner, as my fiance and I live on the Eastern Shore, where there isn't a whole lot to choose from.

    -Which location offers better views/scenery? Again, a wash - both the bay and the desert are beautiful!

    - Is there someone who wants a particular location, whether it be the bride, the groom or a family member? This was the kicker for us -- my parents were really lobbying for an Arizona wedding. Because I was already on the fence, they easily won me over.

 

How did you choose where you were going to get married? Tell me in the comments!

It was an unseasonably cold evening in New York City on April 17, 2010. The wind was whipping, but the sky was clear. I might have been shivering as my now-fiancé got down on one knee and opened the ring box, but it’s amazing how I quickly forgot about the cold as soon as I had that diamond on my finger.

(My ring, taken the day after David proposed)

 

My name is Kelsey, and I just joined the What’s Up? Staff as the weddings and food editor. Coincidentally, I’m also a bride-to-be, getting married on April 30, 2011. Unfortunately, I’m not a Chesapeake bride, or even a Maryland one – I’m getting married in Fountain Hills, Arizona, a small suburb of Phoenix near where I grew up. However, I am planning my wedding from here, and because my fiancée is from the mid-Atlantic and we met on the Eastern Shore, we want to incorporate Maryland details into our wedding.

(A terrifically horrendous photo taken immediately after the proposal ... can you believe neither one of us brought our cameras to New York City that weekend)

I’m also a bona-fide D(o)I(t)Y(ourself) bride, and I’d like to share my projects, inspiration and results with you, the What’s Up? Weddings readers. I’m not really doing things myself to save money – though that is always an incentive – but more because I want to be really involved in the planning process of my wedding. For some brides, it’s enough to pick out an invitation set from a stationer and add in their names. Perhaps it’s all the time and creative talent they can muster. For me, however, as someone who has always loved crafts and design and enjoys spending time in Photoshop or cutting up paper, DIY projects are a way to really involve myself in the wedding.

I also want to hear your ideas and plans. The most fabulous of weddings are not created by wedding magazines or TV shows – they’re dreamt up by brides who are willing to think outside the box and make their weddings one-of-a-kind (with a few traditional aspects thrown in, perhaps?)

Leave a comment here or e-mail me at kcollins@whatsupmag.com to tell me all about your wedding plans.

After a year and a half of planning and over five years together, Sean and I said "I do" on June 5. I can't believe we've already been married nearly a month! I'm glad it's over, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a good time. I've been flooded since then with lots of positive feedback and already inquiries for advice. Here are a couple things I took away from our day:

Make your day-of appointments early.It was a great thing that I did this, because even though I was constantly referred to as an "eerily calm" bride by those who eventually did attend to me, not much pre-ceremony went right. I arrived on time to my 10 a.m. makeup appointment and at 10:30 was told that my artist had called out sick. Someone who had never seen me ended up doing my makeup, and it was a very slow process to ensure I wouldn't end up with a look I didn't like. During this process, bridesmaids were calling me frustrated that the hair salon had lost 2 of our appointments. It was frustrating, but thankfully 2 of us (myself and the bridesmaid who kept me company) would have been late from makeup anyway, so we ended up finding local alternate arrangements. After all of this, I still made it to the church on time, but may not have if I'd scheduled my appointments for a later time.

Make your "Reply By" date about a week earlier than you think it should be.
I've probably mentioned before that I had about 40 invites never returned to me that I had to make calls for. It was stressful tracking down some people so close to my final appointment with the reception hall. Bumping the date up, even if it seems early, will be very helpful.

Remember you can't control everything.
About 20 people who RSVP'd didn't show up. I was (and honestly still am) annoyed and slightly angry that we're out a bit of money due to this. The sound during our slide show didn't work. Oh well. Did you get married for your guests? For your slide show? Or whatever other small detail may not go as planned? Nope. But you're married, it's all said and done, and at this point, you really can't do anything to change it, so just enjoy each other and the rest of your day.


If you're changing your name, consider completing your paperwork beforehand. Not the biggest deal, but when you get back from your honeymoon, all you have to do is take the forms to their designated places and get the ball rolling. To make it even easier, there are websites you can pay a small fee to do all the forms in one place for you.

2010 seems to be the year of weddings. I can think of at least 10 people I know getting married this year and they all know others, so for the rest of you, congratulations, and I hope I was able to be of some help. When your day does come, remember to take a minute to step back, observe it, and enjoy it!

I am getting married in ten days.

 

Yesterday, I went to my final dress fitting. I had to wait while the bride before me finished up, but she and her family overheard me tell the store owner that my wedding was eleven days away. They were courteous and tried to finish up quickly, but were sure to ask me how I was doing overall, what I was feeling eleven days out from the big one.

 

 Well, I'm happy to say I'm not the big mess a  lot of brides are thought to be, but that doesn't mean stressors don't arise. My advice to the bride at this time was "live in a bubble and ignore everyone." Of course, this isn't really kind or plausible, so instead, I'll share my biggest two stressors with you so you can prepare, and a stressor that you should not let get to you.

 I just talked about this in my last post, The Date Debate: Invitation etiquette. Not much stressed me out while planning and getting things together (let it be known that I am a control freak and did the majority of planning/organizing on my own), but this was one of the first things to really get under my skin. From people not responding (one major guest is still shuffling their feet and just won't be as nicely accommodated) to people sneaking in extra guests or making demands on extra guests, this is going to cause stress at some point. I talked to a friend who got married in late 2008 who told me "we hurt a lot of feelings" in the process due to not being able to include everyone. While it doesn't feel good, it's normal to not be able to afford everyone you meet on the street or that friend you haven't seen or talked to in ten years. Do your best and be firm when asking for and giving answers.

 Other people's stress. The very first thing that really caused me stress in the wedding planning process was the selection of the mother's dresses. My mother was out dressed by the mother of the groom at my sister's wedding and it really hurt her feelings. Therefore, my one duty was to make sure that this did not happen again at my wedding. I'm a momma's girl, and my mom did buy her dress first this time, but still, Sean's mom came home with a dress that I felt was way too fancy both for my mom's sake and for the occasion, which we are keeping fairly casual. There was a lot of drama and I felt like nobody could win. I had suggested eloping 20 million times before, but this time, I was more serious than ever. If having a wedding meant worrying about such stupid things, I wanted no part of it. This is just one example, but overall, my most upsetting moments were ones like this when other people were upset and I was brought into it (hence the advice of  "live in a bubble and ignore everyone"). Stress is pretty unavoidable, but I would advise non-brides to do their best to not take their issues to the bride unless it is urgent; it will drastically keep her sanity level. And brides, don't be afraid to say "no." I'm a big fan of keeping the peace as much as possible, even if it means making the occasional decision that isn't my preference, but sometimes, you have to be firm and clear with people on your choice and why you made it.

 And, one stressor not to worry so much about:

Things Beyond Your Control. Last week, Sean and I went on a short term missions trip with some peers from our church. We left a day early for my bridal shower, but the next day when the remainder of the team left, we got news that one team member had taken a serious fall during a stop on the way up. He broke his pelvis, two vertebrae, and fractured a foot. It just so happens that he is also one of our groomsmen. Ouch. Well, I could have been bridezilla-ish and made some crazy demand like he MUST walk to keep the numbers even. Or, I could have kicked him out of the wedding party because I don't want the evidence of his injuries ruining my wedding photos. But, what good does that do anybody, and what kind of friend does that make me? Hopefully nothing like this happens to anyone else, but if it does, remember that it is beyond your control and just deal with it. Sean and I instantly agreed (as if we even needed to discuss it) that our friend would be in the party if he could make it, and that the pics with him in a wheelchair would just make for funny memories later on. Unfortunately, it looks like he won't be released in time for the wedding, but it is not something to stress or throw a fit about. I'm a friend first, bride second; I notified his school (my Alma Mater) of the situation since this happened right before finals week, and I notified the bridal shop not to worry about his formal wear so he wouldn't be stuck with another bill.

That being said, this will be the last you hear from me until hopefully after the wedding when I can post some photos and lessons learned. Best wishes to all the other brides out there, including as little stress as possible!

 

With only 17 (can you believe it!?) days to go until the big day, I have been commended by other brides for not losing my mind by this point. It's great feedback, but even I am not immune to the guaranteed stress that comes with planning a wedding. This close to the big day, my biggest (and pretty much only) wedding-related stressor is invitations, or invitation etiquette.

What do I mean by this? There are so many things related to such a seemingly simple piece of paper that can easily drive a bride nuts. Within the past few days I could tell you about how 40% of my reply cards weren't returned by the due date, how some tried to return them after the due date with the inserted reply of "maybe," or many other things I thought I'd never see. Yes, those really happened, but a big issue which I think happens to most brides is what I like to call the date debate.

As brides, we try to be accommodating while staying on budget. We are sure to include spouses and committed significant others that we are aware of. We account for everyone we know of in our numbers, then inevitably, we get back an invitation that we sent to a single guest with a "+1" sneaked in - what's a bride to do? Suck it up and pay the cost of the extra plate (or plates, if others follow suit)? Call them and ream them out? It's frustrating, to say the least, and not all brides react the same. Some of us have no problem speaking our minds, while other of us feel guilty even having the word "no" in our vocabulary.

 

Invitation mishaps can make a bride feel like this.

So, instead of telling you all how to handle it, hopefully I can share some preventative maintenance with the rest of you:

Addressing, Addressing, Addressing: This is the biggest cue of who is to be included. It was easy for me to forget with people I knew so well, but it sends a clear message to (most) recipients of exactly who is included. If Mr. and Mrs. Smith have three children, and I address it to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," the implication is that the children are not invited (some brides even go as far as to specify no children on the invitation, but this is a matter of preference). On the other hand, addressing it to "Mr. & Mrs. Smith & Family" or "The Smith Family" implies that all five family members are invited. In the same way, if you have a single guest and you address it to "Bob Jones," it should imply that a date is not invited along. If dates are welcome, be sure to specifically address "Bob Jones and Guest (or the guest's name if known is even better!)

 Of course, this is just a guideline and will not work for everyone. For instance, an invite that I sent specifically addressed to Mr. & Mrs. "Smith" was not returned by the due date. I called to get a firm answer which I did not receive, then two days later I received a call from my mother saying they had replied "put us down for five." Agh!

Again, I won't tell you how to respond when this happens. Every bride is different. In my personal taste, I contact the person and kindly explain "we are not having children at the reception outside of immediate family, but we are providing childcare," or "I did not realize you were in a relationship and currently do not have space for an extra guest."  This will work for some, but not for others.

But back to preventative maintenance. As a lover of the internet, wedding websites (and social networking sites) are a wonderful tool. I have all the major event-related details on this site which I have on my e-mail signature and occasionally post on my social networking pages to remind people if they need it. While I didn't do this, looking back, it would have been a great idea: an  "FAQ" section is a straightforward and non-confrontational way to make clear the basic guidelines for your day. For instance:

 

 Q: Can I bring my child to the wedding?

A: All are welcome to the ceremony, but we request that the reception remain adults only. Free childcare will be available throughout the entire evening. Just bring your child's needed food and supplies.

 

Q: Can I bring a date?

A: We have tried to be accommodating of all relationships we are aware of, but we do have space restrictions. Please bring a date only if your invitation indicates another name or "and guest."

 Hopefully doing these things from the beginning will save you the headaches and stress closer to the end!

How have you other brides dealt with invitation issues?