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Creating a Multicultural Wedding
By Sharon Schultz

It’s your wedding and mundane is not exactly a top-ten word in your planning vocabulary. Original, different, and unique are better suited to what you have in mind to make your special day a memorable one. Perhaps you want to incorporate an unusual family tradition or a particular ethnic or religious custom into your wedding celebration. Or perhaps you want to start a tradition of your own. No matter your taste, whether traditional or not, the sky is certainly the limit when it comes to the diversity of options available for today’s modern bride.
When my fiancé and I decided to get married, we explored many ethnic possibilities to use in our wedding. Wayne is predominantly of German descent while I boast a strong Irish heritage. Putting together something from both backgrounds, however, was not as difficult as I had imagined. An Internet search turned up a wealth of information, including ideas for wedding planning here and overseas, special invitations, and other related items.

Wayne was especially enthusiastic when I told him about a German custom called Junggesellenabschied. This is when the groom and his male friends go out to the pubs several days before the wedding to celebrate—a bachelor party! Another German wedding custom in wide use is the Veil Dance, also called the Apron Dance. Guests must pay a fee to have the honor of dancing with either the bride or the groom at the reception. The traditional first dance, typically a waltz, also has German origins, as does the cutting of the wedding cake by the bride and groom.

Another endearing custom I stumbled upon while searching German wedding traditions on line has to do with white ribbons. The bride carries lengths of white ribbon in her bridal bouquet. As the guests leave the church, she hands each driver a ribbon to tie onto their vehicle’s antenna, invoking blessings of safe passage for all.

At this Hindu/Presbyterian ceremony wedding, the bride wore a white sari for the ceremony and a red sari for the reception. According to wedding planner Raquel Shutt, a few Hindu traditions such a typing a cord around the shoulder of the wedding couple, were incorporated into the ceremony. Courtesy of Wedding Savvy, Inc. of Annapolis Photo by Brian Slanger

Being an Irish lass at heart, I was eager to find some Irish customs to use in our celebration. I had been to several weddings where guests were encouraged to ring bells instead of tapping their glasses to request that the newlyweds share a kiss. I was surprised to find this quaint custom has its roots in Ireland! In ancient times, the chiming of bells was thought to chase away evil spirits and restore harmony to the household.
The magic hankie is a favorite Irish tradition that has been used in my family for generations. My grandmother gave magic hankies as both bridal and christening gifts. The craft was later passed down to my aunt and now my cousin is the keeper of the magic hankie pattern. The bride carries this special handkerchief on her wedding day.

Later it is transformed into a bonnet for her first child with a few simple stitches. Then, with a couple of snips, it is turned back into a hankie for the firstborn female to carry on her wedding day. If the firstborn is a son, the hankie is given to his bride to carry.
There are many ethnic wedding traditions and customs in use today that can be modified and adapted to personalize your wedding.
Jumping the broom is a familiar African custom that symbolizes jumping from a carefree single life into a domestic life of responsibilities. In Mexico and Spain, a groom gives his bride a gift of thirteen coins as his promise of support.
A Moravian couple lights a candle together and passes the flame among the guests, each lighting the candle of the person beside him or her until the whole church is aglow with the warmth and love of family and friends. A Jewish wedding ceremony may take place beneath a wedding canopy, a tradition started in the Middle Ages when couples would wed outdoors so they would be blessed with as many children as there were stars in the sky.

A Jewish groom will break a napkin-wrapped glass underfoot to symbolize the fragility of life. After a Russian couple is toasted, the glasses are thrown to the floor. If the glasses break, they will have happiness in their marriage.
In England, young girls scatter flower petals along the path the bride walks to provide a happy path in life. As a French couple departs the church, laurel leaves are scattered in their wake.

In India, the brothers of the groom toss flower petals to keep evil away from the newlywed. After a Chinese wedding ceremony, firecrackers are lit to chase away any evil spirits that may be lurking about the couple.

At Italian and Greek wedding receptions, candy-covered almonds are passed among the guests to symbolize the bitter and sweet things in life. In Japan, the reception menu might include tai fish, the traditional fish of happiness.
Dutch couples plant lilies of the valley in their gardens so they can renew their love each year when the flowers bloom. In Bermuda, as the “wedding tree” grows it symbolizes the maturity and longevity of the couple’s love.

Vows may be adapted to fit a particular nationality as well. Today many couples write their own vows. One thought is to include a few lines in the language your ancestors spoke. Your local library has several books containing an assortment of contemporary, religious, traditional, and ethnic wedding vows.

In keeping with ethnic themes, most restaurants and reception halls offer menus to suit such occasions. Kosher, Asian, Caribbean, Italian, Mexican, Greek, and French cuisines are just some of the possibilities to explore with your caterer. And your reception decorations and favors can reflect your international theme as well.

While many wedding traditions and customs have ethnic origins, many have family-based roots as well. The traditional “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,” although said to have come from England, has become more of a family tradition than not.
My mother wore her mother’s diamond ring as her “something old” when she married my father. I’ll also wear my grandmother’s ring, the same ring my mother wore, as my “something old” when I marry Wayne.

The Korean “Pyebeck” ceremony involves the parents and grandparents of the bride and groom. Courtesy of Wedding Savvy, Inc. of Annapolis

Leia Waffelmeier wore her great-grandmother’s ring as her something old. But sometimes weddings can be the start of something new, too.
Rob Waffelmeier proposed to Leia on the beach one evening while the couple was visiting family in Bethany Beach, Delaware. It was the Fourth of July. When it came to planning their wedding, they wanted to remember that special evening on the beach for many years to come.
“Rob wanted to take a walk by the ocean that night,” Leia reminisces.

“He told me to close my eyes and when I opened them, he was on his knees in the sand. He even bought a special ring box with a light in it so he could propose in the dark. It was very romantic!”

Their wedding took place against the backdrop of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge amid July 4th fireworks, exactly 5 years to the day after Rob proposed.

“I knew we wanted to do a beach wedding. I started searching the Internet the day we got engaged! We wanted something nearby because our grandparents are getting up in years, so going to Bethany or Ocean City was out,” says Leia.

“I wore my great-grandmother’s engagement ring and I walked down the aisle to the same song my mother did, Ave Maria.”
The Waffelmeiers honeymooned in Paris. On their first anniversary, they celebrated with dinner at a French restaurant followed by fireworks at the City Dock, and so a new tradition was born.

But even traditional customs can be adapted to fit a particular theme. Take the lighting of the unity candle by the bride and groom. For a beach wedding, have a unity sand ceremony instead.

The groom pours colored sand into a clear vase monogrammed with the couple’s initial or wedding date. Then the bride pours sand of a different color on top of that. Together, they pour sand of both colors together for the third and final layer, creating a unique sand art display. It’s the perfect keepsake from a beautiful beach wedding and a precious reminder of a love that will last as many years as there are grains of sand!
One new tradition that is gaining much popularity is the destination wedding, which may also have cultural ties if desired. Getting married on a Bermuda beach at sunset or the like is a popular choice but maybe your dream is to be married in Paris, Rome, Madrid, or Dublin!
Such arrangements can be made more easily than you think, via the Internet. A wedding planner or consultant would be particularly welcome when it comes to planning details long distance and making travel arrangements.

But there are many Web sites that can help you plan a wedding in the country of your choice on your own. Simply entering “ethnic wedding traditions” or “ethnic wedding customs” in an Internet search engine will take you to Web sites with general information. Links from them will take you to Web sites with more specific details about a particular county or custom.

Type “weddings” and get unlimited information on wedding boutiques, reception facilities, caterers, and wedding-related supplies. “Wedding planning” will link you to various Internet addresses with tips and advice. Clicking on “wedding consultants” will put you in touch with a professional planner.

Creating a multicultural wedding has endless possibilities—limited only by the number of related Web sites on the Internet!
Sharon Cunningham Schultz is a freelance writer who lives in Glen Burnie
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Sharon Cunningham Schultz is a Freelance Writer who lives in Glen Burnie.